‘tis so quiet, I feel my heartbeat. I hear the throb of the vessels. Why am I awake at this ungodly hour? Why can’t I get you off my mind? Those words, “don’t worry about me!”. It’s like putting a spear to my heart. I wish I had met you earlier in life before life threw all the shit your way. So, we could’ve maneuvered the shitty oceans together. I could’ve been your anchor of hope in the oceans of hopelessness. Is it too late? I guess not. It just might hurt more than it could’ve, but I guess I must embrace the suck. How do I make you believe I want to stay? To tug you from this rock and hard place if you’d let me? How difficult is it to love and not be loved in return? I never imagined sailing to this unloved tempest. How difficult it is to be friends when we both know we care! Or maybe, it’s just me? No! You wouldn’t have said you wouldn’t want to hurt me if you didn’t care.

You see her on a daily! You can’t even hug her, yet she’s the best thing to have happened to you in a very long time. It’s hard waiting around, knowing it might never happen. But sucks knowing it’s all you’ve been wanting. You’re so deep into her, that you’re ready to go through the pains. Hoping things would get better. Would she get on the same page with you? No, she’s shut down the fact that she could give you a chance. The most hurtful of it all is, she keeps opening to you even about her darkest secrets.

It hurts knowing her this deep while staring at her shut doors.

_Midnight Memoirs of The Lost Heart._

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